Ashley (stfuashley) wrote,

I haven't updated in here in literally years. My life has actually changed a lot within those years and for that I feel proud of myself. I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself and I had a lot of reason to feel sorry of myself. For once in my life I'm finally starting to feel as though I'm becoming more equal to my peers. Although my peers are still a lot different and maybe have more experience in things, I feel as though I'm slowly catching up. I believe that's something to be proud of.

I actually managed to find a job that I kept for almost a year. I was a Sales Associate at Bentley. I didn't like the manager, she was quite the bitch. Not to mention she hired her nephew and practically gave all my hours to him. I eventually quit in order to go back to school.

Yes, I said it. Back to school. I got in to college! I got into a General Arts and Science program over at George Brown College. It was suppose to be for two years, but I brought it down to one. I managed to maintain a GPA over 3.0. I will be going into an Early Childhood Education program in September. That is, assuming I don't get into University.

I have applied to York University as well. They will be getting back to me as soon as they see my final marks for this semester, which were fantastic. My lowest mark was a C in Algebra, which isn't so bad [that's about 64%]. So hopefully soon I'll be hearing back from York U and I'll be going there in September. Only time will tell. If I get in there, I'll either be taking Environmental Studies or Children's Studies.

I still need to find a job for the summer, but I have high hopes even though I've been told by Philip and various other people that jobs are few and far in between. Stupid recession. But who knows, they're looking in downtown Toronto. I wont be, I'll be looking in Newmarket. So maybe it will be easier? Only time will tell.

I also have the greatest boyfriend of my life. We've been together for about 2 years. I may have even written about him on here. I don't know. He's so sweet and does so much for me. I'm so proud to have him as a boyfriend.

Although, my mood changes all the time, just comparing my past to where I am now, I know that I'm a much happier person. Or maybe I'm just better off.

I really want my vices back though. The negative ones. The drugs, the cutting, not eating, pulling my hair, etc, etc. I miss the way it feels to be out of control. I miss the way everything would feel after you took 5 pills of E. I miss the blood and rush the comes along with it. I miss the dizzyness from not eating. I miss fainting and coming close to it almost every single day. I miss being THIN. I hate being a fatass. I miss everything.

I'll try to keep this thing updated.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.